Our Mummy’d been a mummy in a horror film franchise

Rising from the dead with mesmerising, glowing eyes

She’d ruled the land of Egypt twenty thousand years before

And now she’d woken, eager for revenge, FX and gore!

And love, she’d always tell us, she came back to life to find

Some lost reincarnation of the love she’d left behind

A love that changed each movie, as he’d always end up dead

(Though once it was a woman. “Famous actress,” Mummy said.)

Mummy never let us watch her in her mummy movies

They were, she said, too scary, and her costumes far too groovy

But then this channel put them all on, back to back, one night

Eight hours straight, from six till late, the Mummy Queen of Fright!

She sighed and said, “We might as well. Let’s see what you guys think.”

She stocked us up on popcorn, and then got herself a drink

She groaned, she blushed, she rolled her eyes, she said, “Oh, what a dummy…”

But we all said that Mummy was the super-scariest mummy!