Quaint and Curious - Parodies and Pastiches of Poe's The Raven

Nevermore!

1900

Anon

The Ladysmith Bombshell: A Souvenir of the Siege of Ladysmith (1900); reprinted in West Lothian Courier, 3rd August 1900, p. 6

The West Lothian Courier prefaces this poem with the following note: “Below we give some further interesting and amusing extracts from the ‘Ladysmith Bombshell’, a publication issued during the siege of Ladysmith. The ‘Bombshell’ was issued in handwriting on foolscap-sized paper, and was published by Earl Robert, who has several full-paged cartoons in several of the issues. The ‘Bombshell’ has been reprinted in Durban, and provides an interesting souvenir of the siege of Ladysmith. The book is respectfully dedicated to Sir George White, who so gallantly commanded the garrison defending Ladysmith during the siege, Nov. 2nd, 1899, to Feb. 28th, 1900, and the publishers in a preface note state that, complying with numerous requests made by those who were unable to obtain copies of the ‘Bombshell’ at the time of its publication, owing to the exigencies of the situation precluding the issue of more than a very few copies of each edition, this volume is now published, and it should form an agreeable memento of a very disagreeable experience—of 118 days fraught with trouble and anxiety, but relieved by innumerable instances of valour and fortitude...”

(With more apologies to Edgar.)

Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary

Over all the quaint and curious yarns we’ve had about the war,[1]

Suddenly there came a rumour (we can always take a few more)

Started by some chap who knew more than the others knew before—

We shall have the reinforcements in another month or more—

Only this and nothing more.

But we’re waiting still for Clery[2]—waiting, waiting sick and weary

Of the strange and silly rumours we have often heard before,

And we now begin to fancy there’s a touch of necromancy—

Something almost too unchancy in the undegenerate Boer—

Only this and nothing more.

Though our hopes are undiminished that the war will soon be finished,

We would be a little happier if we knew a little more

News about Sir Redvers Buller[3] and his famous army corps:

Information of the General and his fighting army corps—

Only this and nothing more.

And the midnight shells uncertain whistling through the night’s black curtain

Thrills us, fills us with a touch of horror never felt before;

So that now to still the beating of our hearts we keep repeating

’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at the chamber door—

Some late visitor entreating entrance at the chamber door—

This it is and nothing more.

Oh how slow the shells come dropping, sometimes bursting sometimes stopping

As they themselves were weary of the very languid war.

How distinctly we’ll remember all the weary dull November,

And it seems as though December will have little else in store,

And our Xmas dinner will be bully beef and plain stickpant[4]—

Only this and nothing more.

Altham,[5] Altham, tell us truly if there’s any news come newly—

Not the old fantastic rumours we have often heard before;

Desolate, yet all undaunted, in the town by Boers still haunted,

This is all the news that’s wanted, tell us truly we implore—

Is there, is there a relief force? tell us, tell us we implore—

Only this and nothing more.

For we’re waiting rather weary. Is there such a man as Clery?

Are there really reinforcements? Is there any Army Corps?

Shall we see our wives and mothers, or our sisters and our brothers?

Shall we ever see those others who went southwards long before?

Shall we ever taste fresh butter—tell us, tell us, we implore—

Shall be answered—Nevermore!

Footnotes

the war — The Second Boer War, 1899 to 1902, fought between the British Empire and Boer Republics of South Africa and Orange Free State. The Siege of Ladysmith occurred between 2nd November 1899 and 28th February 1900, at the Natal township of Ladysmith. After the Battle of Ladysmith, the British forces (initially 15,000-strong) were surrounded and besieged by 21,000 Boers. The siege was eventually broken by the arrival of General Buller on 27 February 1900. (back to text)
Clery — Leiutenant-General Sir Francis Clery (1838–1926) was in command of the 2nd Infantry Division of the British Army during the Second Boer War. This was the division taken by Sir Redvers Buller to relieve Ladysmith. (back to text)
Sir Redvers Buller — General Sir Redvers Henry Buller (1839–1908) received the Victoria Cross for bravery under fire in the 1879 Anglo-Zulu War, then served as Commander-in-Chief of British Forces in South Africa at the start of the Second Boer War. (back to text)
bully beef and plain stickpant — Bully beef is a canned, minced beef, also known as corned beef, and was a staple field ration of the British Army during the Second Boer War. I haven’t been able to identify “stickpant”, which is presumably another form of field ration. Bully beef is usually mentioned along with “hardtack”, a sort of biscuit, so it could be slang for this. The fact that “stickpant” doesn’t fit the rhyming scheme makes it seem possible it’s a mis-transcription. (back to text)
Altham — Major (later Lieutenant-General) Sir Edward Altham Altham (1856–1943) served as Assistant Adjutant-General for Intelligence during the Second Boer War. (back to text)

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