Nothing More
1887
The Pall Mall Gazette, 13 April 1887, p. 1–2
A Chamberlainian Dream
Cartoon from The Pall Mall Gazette
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and skeery[1],
Over many a quaint and curious volume of Midlothian[2] lore;
While I studied—deeply napping—suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping with something wooden on the door.
“’Tis some Radical[3],” I murmured, “with a cudgel at the door,”
“Waiting for me—nothing more.”
Presently my views grew broader, “It must be that great marauder,
The big and hurly-burly Harcourt[4], sturdy limb of legal lore.
Yes, ’tis he of frame Titanic, massive jowl, and sneer Satanic,
That puts his foes to flight and panic when he occupies the floor.
Or perhaps it’s Gladstone[5] coming meekly pardon to implore—
“That it is, and nothing more.”
All my bone seemed turned to gristle, dropped I essay and epistle,
As a sharp and piercing whistle echoed from behind the door;
As the sound came sharply shrilling, all my nerves it set a-thrilling,
While my brain seemed nearly grilling, flung I open wide the door.
“Oh, tush,” said I, “’tis he of Hatfield[6], come my blessing to implore—”
Darkness there, and nothing more!
Deep into that darkness peering, then methought I heard a jeering
In the silent gloomy cavern night had stretched my hall before;
And a voice—’twas that of Labby[7]—seemed to call me “weak and flabby,”
“Backboneless as a babby,” the “paltry leader of a score,”
Until I noticed at the entrance something lying near the door—
Merely Truth, and nothing more.
Back I went, the packet spurning, all my soul with anger burning,
Muttering many a rare expletive culled from old Hibernian lore,
Till once more I heard a knocking, and fresh terrors came a-flocking,
While the clock’s dull ticking-tocking new and ghostly meaning bore.
At the shutter, flitter flutter, quick this mystery to explore.
Open now or nevermore!
Back I dashed the door, half crazy—had my wits turned mad or hazy?—
For in there stepped a pompous raven, full of paunch and sleek galore,
And his look was grave and crafty, neither smiled, nor looked, nor laughed he,
As he slowly strutted past me, perching o’er my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Schnadhorst[8]—somewhat broken—o’er the door,
Croaking, “Caucus,”[9] nothing more.
“Bird,” I cried, “with voice so raucous—thou who pratest of that caucus
(Which once my highest praise and presidential honour bore)
We are the leaders—we—and Harty[12]. And you shall return no more
Unless your vows and Grand Old Leader you throw over and ignore.
’Tis all we ask for—nothing more.”
But that bird so strange and eerie, with his look so sly and leary,
Kept his staunch and silent station on the bust above the door.
Then again my voice uplifting soft, I said, “My views are shifting,
They but want a little sifting, to find us in accord once more.
Give me reason for my treason; open wider yet the door.”
Quoth the croaker, “Nothing more.”
Startled by this solemn warning in the small hours of the morning,
And the grave prophetic meaning that this simple sentence wore,
“Yet,” I cried, new courage feigning, “you are losing, we are gaining;
Gladstone’s star is slowly waning; we are trusted more and more.”
Then the bird spoke, and its voice a guttural intonation bore,
“Liverpool,”[13] and nothing more.
Then I said with scornful seeming, “Foolish bird, thou must be dreaming,
At a single by-election to set such overweening store!
The Times for Force is raving; for coercion all are craving,
’Tis a signal we are waving full of hope and peace galore.”
Then methought I heard a voice, “The drift of clouds is passing o’er—
“Ilkeston,”[14] quoth it, nothing more.
“Prophet,” cried I, “thing of evil, prophet still, if bird or devil,
Whether Gladstone sent or lent thee thus to guide me back to shore,
Thro’ that cloud the future veiling, say which way my bark is sailing?
Are our efforts unavailing? Shall I ever hold once more
My old position in our party? Tell me, tell me, I implore.”
“Morley,”[15] quoth he, nothing more.
“Tell me, fiend, thou devil grinning, are indeed the rifts beginning
To widen into yawning chasms, separating more and more?
Will the next Election quell us? Do the Tories mean to sell us?
Will, indeed, our seat ‘Pall Mall’[16] us and our place know us no more?
Will the Liberals ever cease Birmingham magic[17] to adore?”
“Burnley,”[18] croaked he, nothing more.
“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I cried, upstarting;
“All our conferential meetings only serve to part us more.
Get thee gone with this defiance, tho’ we have no real reliance
In the strength of our affiance—for ’tis rotten to the core—
This our aim, our hidden purpose, we don’t want to cross the floor.”
“Gladstone,” croaked he, nothing more.
But that Raven never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Demos—grimly mocking o’er the door;
And when Parnellites[19] decrying, and stern common sense defying,
All my former self belying, the shadow steals across the floor,
The prescience of a Dissolution stealing darkly o’er the floor—
Annihilation, nothing more.
This poem is “narrated” by the UK Liberal politician Joseph Chamberlain (1836–1914), clearly recognisable from his characteristic monocle in the illustrations accompanying its appearance in the Pall Mall Gazette (see below). On 13 March 1886, the Prime Minister, Gladstone, revealed his proposals for Irish Home Rule. In response, Chamberlain resigned from the Liberal party on 27 March, and joined the Liberal Unionist party. Divided into Liberal and Liberal Unionists, the Liberal party lost the 1886 general election, and in 1887, Chamberlain led a series of talks between the various factions of the Liberals to try to reunite them.
Cartoon of Joseph Chamberlain from The Pall Mall Gazette
Footnotes
- skeery — frightened, timorous. (back to text)
- Midlothian — The Prime Minister, Gladstone, was MP for the Parliamentary constituency of Midlothian from 1880–1895. Speeches given to his constituents were sometimes dubbed the “Midlothian Manifesto”, as they laid out his plans for the country as a whole. (back to text)
- Radical — The Radicals in the Liberal party were those who supported Gladstone on Irish Home Rule. (back to text)
- Harcourt — William Harcourt (1827–1904), at the time MP for Derby, and Chancellor of the Exchequer. The illustrations in the Pall Mall Gazette accompanying the poem include two of the “raven” with Harcourt’s face. (back to text)
- Gladstone — William Ewart Gladstone (1809–1898), Liberal politician and Prime Minister at this time (1 February 1886–21 July 1886, having previously been Prime Minister also in 1868–1874 and 1880–1885). Gladstone’s initial reaction to Chamberlain’s resignation was to ask him to reconsider, and it was thought at the time that he might have been seeking ways to alter his policy so as to overcome Chamberlain’s objections. (back to text)
- Hartfield — Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury (1830–1903), who lived in Hatfield House near the town of Hatfield, was leader of the Conservative Party, and formed an alliance with the Liberal Unionists in opposition to Gladstone, a move which won him the 1886 General Election in July of that year. (back to text)
- Labby — Henry Labouchère (1831–1912), Liberal politician, nicknamed Labby. A supporter of Irish Home Rule, he is depicted in one of the illustrations accompanying the poem in the Pall Mall Gazette. (back to text)
- Schnadhorst — Francis Schnadhorst (1840–1900), a Birmingham businessman and Liberal politician. A supporter of Irish Home Rule, he tried to keep the Liberal party from splitting over the issue. (back to text)
- Caucus — The Birmingham Liberal Association, formed in 1865, had a membership fee of just a shilling, and thus provided a grass-roots organisation by which ordinary people could become part of the party’s political activities. At first mockingly called the Liberal Caucus, this term was adopted by the Liberals themselves. A key organiser was Francis Schnadhorst (see previous note), so his influence over “the Caucus” would have been key in supporting the Irish Home Rule Bill. (back to text)
- Dicky — Probably Lord Richard Grosvenor, 1st Baron Stalbridge (1837–1912), who had served Gladstone as Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury from 1880, but joined the Liberal Unionists in 1886. (back to text)
- Arty — Perhaps Arthur Peel, 1st Viscount Peel (1829–1912), Liberal politician who became a Liberal Unionist over the issue of Home Rule. (back to text)
- Harty — Lord Hartington, Spencer Compton Cavendish, 8th Duke of Devonshire (1833–1908), leader of the Liberal Unionist party. (back to text)
- Liverpool — The Liverpool Scotland constituency (a political division centred on Scotland Road in Liverpool) became the only parliamentary constituency in Great Britain to elect an Irish Nationalist MP (TP O’Connor) in the general election of 1885. O’Connor retained his seat in the general election of 1886, which followed the defeat of the Government of Ireland Bill. (back to text)
- Ilkeston — Ilkeston was a Parliamentary constituency (now part of South Derbyshire), whose MP, the Liberal Thomas Watson (1821–1887, elected in 1885), came out in support of Gladstone’s plan for Ireland. When Watson died, Liberal MP Balthazar Walter Foster (1840–1913) was elected in his place. Although allied with Chamberlain in many ways, Foster differed with him on the subject of Irish Home Rule. (back to text)
- Morley — John Morley, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn (1838–1923), Liberal politician who was at the time Secretary for Ireland (and had been editor of the Pall Mall Gazette until 1883). He helped Gladstone work out the details of his Home Rule policy. (back to text)
- Pall Mall — The Pall Mall Gazette had come out in favour of Irish Home Rule years before, and its articles on the subject had even been raised in Parliament (see PARLIAMENT—BREACH OF PRIVILEGE—"THE PALL MALL GAZETTE."), over whether it was going too far in attacking politicians who opposed its view. (back to text)
- Birmingham magic — Presumably this refers to the political victories the Liberals achieved thanks to their grassroots membership in the Birmingham Liberal Association, known as the “Caucus” (see note above). (back to text)
- Burnley — Burnley was a UK parliamentary constituency. Its anti-Home Rule Liberal MP Peter Rylands died in 1887, after which the pro-Home Rule Liberal John Slagg was elected in his place. (back to text)
- Parnellites — Followers of Charles Stewart Parnell (1846–1891), the Irish Nationalist politician who was at this time leader of the Irish Parliamentary Party. (back to text)
Return to the Quaint and Curious index for more pastiches and parodies of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”.
